Talk to your wife or any other loved one you happen to trust about your mood. I doubt she'd be nit-picking you if you told her you were feeling awful. I often find it helpful when people know you really aren't in the mood for taking crap, and if you're lucky, they'll realise their complaint or nitpick was unwarranted.

Like: "Did you have to kick him while he's down?". Then again, you could have said "It's a fight, yes, I had to kick him while he's down."

The Ol' Lady is very supportive, and recognizes when I'm feeling down. She is an artist as well, and she gets depressed, but is better about it. I tend to have friends who are also manic, bi-polar, or generally messed up in the head. People I relate to.

As far as kicking the dude when he was down, I talked to my Shifu about it. He said it was no problem, it's in our forms.

I suffer from Male depression. It's a stupid name because the only reason it's called Male Depression is because I'm a male. I don't see how it's different than Female Depression, or if they even call it Female Depression. I guess no one knows.

At least now I recognise it for what it is. I used to wonder why I would get depressed for no reason. I would mope around, trying to think of a reason to complain. "My job sucks. I hate working." I draw pictures for a living, travel, and make my own hours. Poor me.

It's hereditary, messed up childhood, whatever. The question is, what to do about it. Work out, eat right, sleep regular hours, thats a good idea. This time, however, I decide to get drunk, get in a bar fight, and snort a pile of coke. Now I feel GREAT! (sarcasm. If you never done coke, the comedown is horrible.) And of course, my wife loves when I come home at 9 am. I'm an idiot. So maybe I'll just go for a ride, clear my head. Nope, bike won't start. Nice.

Any of you deal with this ****? Maybe this is the wrong forum for this, or it's already been dealt with, but I don't care.

OKay, I got in on this a little late, I hope you're still reading the thread.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression (had all the symptoms but suicidal) about 5 years ago.

I was put on anti depressents. Didn't take'em.

I only survived it because of having a friend who absolutely was there for me 24 hours a day with no judgement. I'd call weeping about insanely unimportant things that meant nothing and she'd act like they were life and death. She'd talk to me and she made me realise I had a lot to live for. I now have a better, more interesting life than I've ever had.

Realise two things:

It takes a lot of time to get thru this stuff

and

it will not all go away at once, it's like a sine wave, dips and rises. Learn to recognise the emotional and physical symptoms (yes, being sad has a physical feeling, it even TASTES of something) of your particular wave and nip them in the bud.

Train, read happy books, run till you puke, something to kick the pattern out of wack. It will help.

Try and stop second guessing yourself, it will change your view point dramatically.

It's tough to do, but worth the challenge.

Switchblade, I hate to be the one spouting this particular cliché, but...

The fact that you're discussing it reasonably and honestly is VERY important.

It means you're not bottling it up, ignoring it, lying to yourself, and so on.

It's a fucking great big 'YES' to life.

I had a bit of a crappy childhood too. I went through a short stage of being depressed until my brother said "Stop feeling sorry for yourself!"

It worked for me. So that would be my advice. Also when you realise that life is essentially pointless and makes no sense whatsoever, it's hard to find anything depressing. So I would say (in my best tough love voice) stop winging and get on with it.

Thinking positively would solve the whole problem, since the problem is that you tend to look uber-negatively at everything, most especially yourself and your life, beyond what would be rational.

Just to make sure, were you directing this at me or the OP?

I had a bit of a crappy childhood too. I went through a short stage of being depressed until my brother said "Stop feeling sorry for yourself!"

It worked for me. So that would be my advice. Also when you realise that life is essentially pointless and makes no sense whatsoever, it's hard to find anything depressing. So I would say (in my best tough love voice) stop winging and get on with it.

Kinda have to disagree with you on a few points. I think depression doesnt neccisarilly equate to a crappy childhood (no grammar or spellchecking please), though that can be a valid reason. Many people with picture perfect lives suffer from this for no reason other than chemical imbalance, hereditary or whatever. Fact is, my life is great. Its 11am, I've had sex followed by breakfast in bed, and I see my son has made a Christmas list and I'm able to buy everything on it. If I can figure out what a Zelda Phantom hourglass and a Spectrobe is.

As far as feeling sorry for myself, or anyone, I dont believe in it. My childhood, though a bit crappy, made me who I am today. I believe I can face anything and survive. The problem is, sometimes I feel so down, without any reason. Anything can trigger it. Or maybe it comes from nowhere. I talked to a shrink about it before (she was a marriage counselor, ended up being my shrink, and helping me be a better father), and she suggested medication but I declined. My mother and two sisters are on anti-depressants, but I deal with it my own way.

I do feel alot better having got this off my chest, in fact I cant even remember how bummed I was when I started this thread. I dont think life is pointless at all, I truly believe the point is to help other people. To give to someone else makes you happy, and waiting around for someone to give to you, well, dont hold your breath. Though you might be surprised.

Thanks everyone, I think I'll get working on this bike now see if I cant get it to start. That always helps.

Kinda have to disagree with you on a few points. I think depression doesnt neccisarilly equate to a crappy childhood (no grammar or spellchecking please), though that can be a valid reason. Many people with picture perfect lives suffer from this for no reason other than chemical imbalance, hereditary or whatever. Fact is, my life is great. Its 11am, I've had sex followed by breakfast in bed, and I see my son has made a Christmas list and I'm able to buy everything on it. If I can figure out what a Zelda Phantom hourglass and a Spectrobe is.

Zelda Phantom Hourglass is the new Nintendo DS videogame in the Legend of Zelda franchise. I'd recall the cover to you (saw it today) but I can't remember. Don't know about spectrobe though. And to be honest, "Stop being so sad" is the worst fucking advise anyone could give a depressed person, and usually most mental health institutions will say so. It's not a matter of just "Cheer up", as you noted, as many factors influence one's mental health. Don't feel frustrated if you can't kick it, because you aren't failing anyone- it's a mental illness, (not the most extreme of them, I'll admit, but a dangerous one nonetheless) and any progress is good progress, and there'll be good days and bad days. You might have a good day and feel great all day, you might have a bad day and feel like you can't move.


As far as feeling sorry for myself, or anyone, I dont believe in it. My childhood, though a bit crappy, made me who I am today. I believe I can face anything and survive. The problem is, sometimes I feel so down, without any reason. Anything can trigger it. Or maybe it comes from nowhere. I talked to a shrink about it before (she was a marriage counselor, ended up being my shrink, and helping me be a better father), and she suggested medication but I declined. My mother and two sisters are on anti-depressants, but I deal with it my own way.

I do feel alot better having got this off my chest, in fact I cant even remember how bummed I was when I started this thread. I dont think life is pointless at all, I truly believe the point is to help other people. To give to someone else makes you happy, and waiting around for someone to give to you, well, dont hold your breath. Though you might be surprised.

Thanks everyone, I think I'll get working on this bike now see if I cant get it to start. That always helps.

You seem like you know a lot about the disease, and it seems to me that your depression is probably hereditary if there's a lot of members of your family who suffer. I think you should invest some time in a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist. Talking can be therapeutic, and psychiatrists can be very clue. On the other hand, some of these people can be bunglers, but I've always like the ones I've dealth with. It's a bit of a lottery, but in my opinion the odds are good.

I'm glad you've got some respite out of this, because (and I'm not going to say "I know everything you're suffering") I wholeheartedly agree that it is a huge bitch to deal with. Sometimes, friend, you've just got to do what makes you happy, so fixing up your motorbike sounds good to me.

Dude, go to a Psychiatrist and get some anti-depressants...

...and please, choke on any bitch-ass "I dun wan no drugz!" comment you may instinctively puke up because of a middle-class, over-indulged "natural health" fixation popular culture has cock-crammed down your throat.

---

Do I have your attention now?

Good!

---

I'm a former Marine, a married man, a BJJ student, a Corporate Trainer (I wear suits to work), I make great money, and I live in arguably the most beautiful city in America...

...and I nearly killed myself because of a sudden, uncontrollable onset of severe depression that came out of nowhere several years ago.

---

Do I still have your attention?

Good!

---

Like most young, aggressive men, I laughed at emo fucks who whined about their upper-class childhoods and popped "Happy Pills" while they listened to "My Chemical Romance" and wrote shitty poetry on their Myspace pages.

I got a rude ass wake-up call, though...and if you don't address your issues in the most effective and immediate way possible (i.e. medication and counseling), then you WILL.

---

Besides, medication today is EXTREMELY non-invasive, and any of the standard anti-depressants work VERY well.

I was prescribed Prozac, and that (combined with therapy) allowed me to get a grip of myself and start feeling normal.

Anti-depressants aren't "Happy Pills" that turn the world into a rosy-hued wonderland (that would be LSD)...they just give you more control of your emotions and level out your mood swings and melancholy.

If you have legitimate depression, then you OWE it to your family to take the medication, get your **** together, and let yourself be the best father and husband you can.

Otherwise, you're sending a great big, wet "**** YOU" to your family.

---

Having said that in the most abrasive, vulgar, and insensitive manner possible in order to get your attention...

...let me say good luck, and that I feel your pain.

Depression, in any amount, is a horrid illness that taints everything and everyone you come into contact with. Your family will blame themselves, your peers will lower their opinions of you, and life just sucks.

So get some help, bro. Get some medication, see a therapist, and get control of your moods.

In summary: cock-cramming doesn't help depression.

depression?
http://www.calstatela.edu/faculty/acolvil/volcanos/caldera_genovesa.jpg

I should add that that was an excellent post, Satori.

from what ive heard, (old people) style tai chi is great for making you feel better. personally i havent been into the whole "chi alignment" stuff, but ive had a few friends that told me it was great for them, but hey it doesnt hurt to try does it?

Thx,
Lone Wind

Salvia is a hallucinogenic, and not something you would necessarily want to take if suffering from depression. For people suffering from depression, stuff like marjiuana or magic mushrooms that makes others feel good can actually make depression worse. A friend of mine freaked out on salvia a few months ago actually. Thankful the effects of it only last 5 minutes or so.

St. John's Wort works for some people, I drink a hot glass every day. I also take my hits of ginseng and ginkgo daily.

Of course, without getting active and getting exercise you still feel crappy, which is hard to do if your depressed because you also feel really lazy and hopeless, so it's like a bad cycle. A lot of people who are depressed suffer anxiety as well, and/or insomnia as a result which can make matters worse.

Anti-depressants might not be a good answer, and I wouldn't recommend them as necessarry to anyone unless they were seriously to the point of not being able to get off the floor and/or wanting to commit suicide. Otherwise there is a bunch of side effects from the drugs, that while they might make some things better new problems could arise; that's if the antis actually do work at all. As well there is always a danger period of the first 2 weeks to 1 month or so that a person who first starts taking anti-depressants could do something rash or kill them self.

So you should talk to both a doctor and psychotherapist, psychologist or psychiatrist and weight the benefits, and pros and cons to make your decision.

If you do have insomnia though, getting something prescribed to help you sleep can do a lot in terms of helping you get your energy up and your mind off of being depressed. Getting off them at some point is another question.

But using stuff like booze and coke to self-medicate is definitely not going to work in the long run, which the original poster obviously realizes. I've been down that road myself, mostly with binges of vodka, beer and codein.

Both my parents are diagnosed with depression as well as myself, so I'm speaking from some experience in the matter. My dad used to use pot when I was a kid and would smoke more then he could sell, but obviously in the long run I think it made his depression worse and not better.

Anyways, good luck.

Dude, go to a Psychiatrist and get some anti-depressants...

...and please, choke on any bitch-ass "I dun wan no drugz!" comment you may instinctively puke up because of a middle-class, over-indulged "natural health" fixation popular culture has cock-crammed down your throat.

[..]

Besides, medication today is EXTREMELY non-invasive, and any of the standard anti-depressants work VERY well.

[...]
Anti-depressants aren't "Happy Pills" that turn the world into a rosy-hued wonderland (that would be LSD)...they just give you more control of your emotions and level out your mood swings and melancholy.

.

Great post! I think a lot of people with serious depression problems avoid meds because of some misguided sense of 'authenticity.' I think the potential for side-effects is over-hyped as well, at least partially because those who have side-effects are likely to make a big deal about them, whereas people who have positive experiences with meds are likely to just get on with their lives and not talk about it that much.