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Airman Kai
5/08/2007 10:47pm,
Wing Chun, or WC as his friends called him, was a most mysterious and slappy entity.

Young WC was born in the Lol Rofl Wtf Gayzorz!!!!111!1 region of northern China. He practiced his own form of slap-fighting against the forest spirits that inhabited his local area, and while he was still a boy, he had the opportunity to show off his flappy, graceful movements.

A kung fu nun stumbled through his neck of the woods one day, most assuredly running from the destruction of her monastery. He helped her to safety, and in return, she told him of her plight. Her monastery, it seemed, had been sacked by the evil Decepticons of the Qing Dynasty.

WC immediately pledged his support to the fight against the Decepticons, but the nun was unsure if the young boy would be of any help, or if he would just get pwned. To prove his worth, WC grabbed the nun's hand, and rushed her outside to his forest, where he sought an opponent. WC soon came upon a garden snake and a crane fighting one another. WC, readied his stance, steadied his breath, and leapt into battle. After much pecking, biting, and chain punching, WC emerged the victor, bloodied but proud.

The nun saw the young boy's skill and determination, and yielded to his request to join the fight against the Decepticons. They journeyed to the capitol city, and began their operation to take down the Qing Dynasty.

WC had an idea, a plan to cover their attempts at sabotage. He gathered the most emo musicians he could find, and created a band called Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Using his new band as a cover, he gathered skilled assassins and saboteurs into a group know as the Autobots. With the Autobots posing as members of the band's entourage, they moved about the city without fear of stoppage. WC taught all he knew to the Autobots, and soon, they were all the most feared slappers in the capitol.

WC and his Autobots were highly successful in their attacks on the Decepticons, with Optimus Prime nearly killing Megatron several times, but in the end, they never made enough progress to end the Qing Decepticons rule over China. Slapping just didn't seem to have the dynasty ending power they thought it would. It seemed that time was the worst enemy of the Qing Dynasty, and its failure to adapt ended up being the Decepticons downfall.

After the end of the Cybertronian war, there wasn't much else for WC to do but settle down and teach his style for cold, hard cash. He met a man named Yip, and although Yip had an annoying speech pattern (he kept calling everybody "man"), WC took him under his wing and imparted to him the art of slapping.

After many years, WC had garnered many students, but Yip was still his best student. WC decided that he could leave his school in the capable hands of Yip while he visited his home forest all the way across China. WC told Yip to care for the school and admit no new students. Yip agreed, and WC returned home.

1 year later, WC returned, but found that he had been betrayed by Yip. Yip had gone behind his back and trained another student, and one that was now an actor, no less. WC demanded an explanation, but Yip responded that now HE was the master, and would not apologize.

Facing off at the top of Mount Doom, WC and Yip fought a slap duel that students still talk about today. In the end, WC's age got the best of him, and Yip managed to flail enough to cause WC to fall into the fiery pits of Mount Doom, never to be seen again.

Now the last remaining master of Slapping, he rejoiced at the prospect of being on top of the slap-fighting world, but soon he faced regret at the killing of his master. In an effort to repent, he named the slap style after his murdered master, Wing Chun. His students would then forever be known as Chunners.

Unfortunately, disgruntled ex-students vandalized the school, and even today the sign merely reads "_ing _un."

Wing Chun, we will always remember your flappiness.

Ke?poFist
5/08/2007 11:09pm,
Not your best work, but still funny. I think having two stories drive the nail through the floorboards kept my expectations unreasonably high ;)

Airman Kai
5/08/2007 11:29pm,
Not your best work, but still funny. I think having two stories drive the nail through the floorboards kept my expectations unreasonably high ;)
DAMN IT! I was sure Optimus Prime had it locked!

chingythingy
5/09/2007 6:23pm,
I'm not going to read another page long gay story about _ing _un, even if you do really think you're funny.

Kid Miracleman
5/09/2007 8:45pm,
I don't understand why Optimus Prime didn't just unleash the power of the Matrix of Leadership. Combined with Wing Chun, Optimus could have come out on top!

Kid Miracleman
5/09/2007 11:36pm,
I think the next "The Life and Times of..." article should be a sonnet, or at least written in iambic pentameter.

Ke?poFist
5/09/2007 11:44pm,
I think the next "The Life and Times of..." article should be a sonnet, or at least written in iambic pentameter.

I won't read it. I liked his first two very much. Keep your artsy opinions to yourself!

Kid Miracleman
5/09/2007 11:54pm,
I won't read it. I liked his first two very much. Keep your artsy opinions to yourself!Thou greasy earth-vexing gudgeon! Degenerate and base art thou.

Would the fountain of your mind were clear again, that I might water an ass at it.

Ke?poFist
5/10/2007 12:39am,
Thou greasy earth-vexing gudgeon! Degenerate and base art thou.

Would the fountain of your mind were clear again, that I might water an ass at it.

I will kill you

Kid Miracleman
5/10/2007 1:28am,
I will kill youYou, minion, are too saucy.

Thenuad
6/11/2007 7:38pm,
It would sound so much better if WC would be a little girl instead of a boy ('cause it's a girl's name, right?). What's that? Psychological portrait of younger self or a lost love of the past? :)

:XXphyhsas

BackFistMonkey
6/11/2007 8:37pm,
It would sound so much better if WC would be a little girl instead of a boy ('cause it's a girl's name, right?). What's that? Psychological portrait of younger self or a lost love of the past? :)

:XXphyhsas
May I take this moment to invite you the St Louis Throwdown ?

http://www.bullshido.net/forums/showthread.php?t=53778

stop by and say hey .

ggboxer
6/12/2007 10:16am,
This is bullshit, Wing Chun is the way of the roaming warrior, Black Jack Mulligan Jr. was one of our deadliest fighters in the octagon. With Wing Chun, championships and accolades are never far from our grasp

You can keep adding new elements to good wing chun, like a specialty car. I inserted some snake fist in, and added a little cat claw as a surprise aerial attack.

Anyway, this thread isn't making fun of real, Red Junk Boat Derived Wing Chun right? The kind handed down by Leung Bick right?

shut the **** up, you can't just run a whole thread insulting my style!

And for christ's sake, remove this Dumbass tag!

As a certified Level III wing chun warrior with many victories over BJJ masters to my credit, I feel it is my duty to confront the ignorance in this thread.

Hey, how do you find the time to train in Karate, and BJJ and Ernis whatever that is? My Sifu Steve has never even heard of you lol

jack of all trades, master of none

you probably mix up when to kick with when to leg shoot, thats when I come in with my dummy set movements and chain punch the chin!

Karate with bad knees that must be deadly. I'm an award winning boxer

what the hell is side control?!

My sifu says I have the deadly humming bird hands, just like Chu Chong Man, aka The Iron Fist of Wing Chun I would attack me if you dare, I will crush you

Lebell
6/12/2007 10:42am,
everybody knows that story already airman kai! :-p

FickleFingerOfFate
6/12/2007 11:32am,
This is bullshit, Wing Chun is the way of the butt pirate, AIDS Infected Mulligan Jr. was one of our gayest fighters in the octagon. With Wing Chun, cocks and ballsacks are never far from our grasp

You can keep adding new elements to good wing chun, like a pink dress with fucia ribbons. I inserted my masters fist in my ass, and added a little spunk tossing as a surprise aerial attack.

Anyway, this thread isn't making fun of real, Junk Derived Wing Chun right? The kind handed down by Lung Black right?

Right.

FickleFingerOfFate
6/12/2007 12:41pm,
LOL! _ing _un! :pottytrai


Dumbass! :icon_bigg