Well, you could just do squats and not look like such a raving idiot.

Why does that exercise make a person a raving idiot?

Are you certain squats will have the same effect on the body as the exercise I describe? Are you absolutely certain? Could you describe in depth what you think the exercise I describe does to the body, and how that is the same or different from squats?

You are after all much smarter than I am, so you should have no trouble explaining things to me.

It has been a long time since I ran into a group of haters. Do you guys just want to hate, or do you need me to help you understand this stuff?

If you would listen, I could open your mind to more about kung fu than you ever dreamt of. If you want to be a ring fighter or Bruce Lee, then I can't help you. If you want to know what it means to be a superior human being, and what a superior human being is capable of, I am your man.

Later.

happeh: Please list your medical credentials here for verification.

hey...HEY! Anti-masturbation theories aren't ALL bad.

Farmer Kellogg believed that by eating plain foods young men would not be drawn to masturbation. He then invented Corn Flakes.

Shortly after his death Frosted Flakes were invented and everyone went back to masturbating =D

(First part true as read in my human sexuality text book, second part made up for giggles)

from: http://www.happeh.com/

According to Happeh Theory, Excessive Masturbation will lead to blindness in one eye, loss of use of the limbs on one side of the body, development of homosexual feelings, and many other physical and mental health problems. The picture below shows almost exactly how a person who masturbates with the right hand will look, according to Happeh Theory.

http://www.happeh.com/Wanker.png

:icon_thum




http://www.happeh.com/NudeHappehTheory/WhatIsSex/WhatIsSexMainPage.htm

From this page....aw man. He just ruined one of my favorite miko lee vids. I can never watch that again. DAMN YOU!!!!


On the plus side, at least we know this guy does NOT want to produce offspring. Future generations are safe.

Troll.

Stupid people everywhere...

happeh: Please list your medical credentials here for verification.

I don't understand. I have never claimed to have medical credentials that you could verify.

Have you mistaken me for someone else, or is the question misworded?

Maybe you are blind from masturbating, and you misread it.

You silly bastard you.

If you would listen, I could open your mind to more about kung fu than you ever dreamt of. If you want to be a ring fighter or Bruce Lee, then I can't help you. If you want to know what it means to be a superior human being, and what a superior human being is capable of, I am your man.What qualifies you to teach Kung-Fu? How long have you studied, and under whom? What qualifies you to decide the parameters necessary for superiority in being human? Are you aware that the idea that masturbation leads to long-term impairment is an old-wives'-tale with no basis in medical fact?

--Joe

It has been a long time since I ran into a group of haters. Do you guys just want to hate, or do you need me to help you understand this stuff?



You misunderstand us. We are not haters. We are skeptics, with a healthy dose of compassion for someone who is obviously seriously deluded, plus a huge helping of LOL because your "theories" are just too funny for serious discussion.

[B]"Get a large book you don't want anymore. Insert the book with the spine vertical between the butt cheeks so that they are spread open. Now when the exercise is done, clamp on the book as hard as you possible can. If the book is large enough, you should have no trouble clamping down on it no matter how weak your buttock muscles are."

Brings new meaning to the term "pulls facts out of his arse."

Why does that exercise make a person a raving idiot?

Are you certain squats will have the same effect on the body as the exercise I describe? Are you absolutely certain? Could you describe in depth what you think the exercise I describe does to the body, and how that is the same or different from squats?

You are after all much smarter than I am, so you should have no trouble explaining things to me.

It has been a long time since I ran into a group of haters. Do you guys just want to hate, or do you need me to help you understand this stuff?

If you would listen, I could open your mind to more about kung fu than you ever dreamt of. If you want to be a ring fighter or Bruce Lee, then I can't help you. If you want to know what it means to be a superior human being, and what a superior human being is capable of, I am your man.

Later.

Jesus Tittyfucking Christ.

The squat is a functional, athletic movement. Sticking a fucking book up your ass is apparently a fetish of yours.

But hey, if you like clamping things between your ass cheeks, that's your thing.

What qualifies you to teach Kung-Fu? How long have you studied, and under whom? What qualifies you to decide the parameters necessary for superiority in being human? Are you aware that the idea that masturbation leads to long-term impairment is an old-wives'-tale with no basis in medical fact?

--Joe

What do you mean "teach kung fu"? Do you mean teach physical kung fu like teaching forms etc? I don't do that.

What qualifies me blah blah? Common sense. How do you know that a gallon is better than a quart? Common sense. You pour a gallon on the ground, and you see more come out than if you pour a quart out on the ground.

Let me ask you a question. Do you think a human being with telepathy, is superior to a human being without telepathy? Why? I think one with telepathy is superior, because he has an ability the other guy does not. Doesn't take any qualifications or education to figure that out. One guy has something the other doesn't, so he must be superior.

As for the old wives tale, are you aware that scientists, the government, and just about everyone else lies? All the time? Constantly? Everyday?

If you don't know that, I have......dozens of stories about lying government officials, lying corporations, lying hospitals, lying doctors and lying scientists. Lots of them lie, lots of them are incompetent, and the rest are victims. They are poor people like you who trusted a liar, so now they believe something that is not true.

You really shouldn't trust anything besides your own two eyes, and your own brain. That is the only way to be certain of anything.

Jesus Tittyfucking Christ.

The squat is a functional, athletic movement. Sticking a fucking book up your ass is apparently a fetish of yours.

But hey, if you like clamping things between your ass cheeks, that's your thing.

That's what I thought. You have no clue. Think about it for awhile. Read exactly what instructions I wrote, and think about what is going on.

Do you have any thoughts about internal and external kung fu? Do you believe in internal and external kung fu? Can you define them? Do you have any personal opinions about the benefits of one over the other?

A squat is lowering the body by bending at the knees. Why do you believe that bending at the knees produces the same kind of muscular motion, as pressing the buttocks together? The buttocks are pressing horizontally against each other in the exercise I describe. The muscles in the legs are moving vertically I think when the body moves vertically to do a squat. Could you tell me which direction the buttock muscles are going when you do a squat?

I think you guys don't think to much. You hear something odd, and you try to kill it. If you thought about the odd thing for awhile, you would see all the questions I wrote above. Then if you started answering those questions, you would teach yourself real kung fu, instead of just punching and kicking.

What do you mean "teach kung fu"? Do you mean teach physical kung fu like teaching forms etc? I don't do that.

What qualifies me blah blah? Common sense. How do you know that a gallon is better than a quart? Common sense. You pour a gallon on the ground, and you see more come out than if you pour a quart out on the ground.
Your kung fu pages have been deleted. Can anyone verify if this action was recent?

Now what qualifies someone to even tell which one is a quart or a gallon to begin with. One must first be instructed on which one is which. Now we are asking where you studied what you teach. If you gained your knowledge from real life, then can you please give us your stories.

Common sense? Let's see, you claim that masturbation causes blindness and parilyzation of half the body. My personal sense says this is bullshit. WHY?

1. I've taken multiple human sexuality courses and in not one of them is there any study relating blindness and/or paralysis to masturbation.
2. I ain't gonna lie, I've been masturbating for the past...oh say 10 years now. I'm proud to say that both sides of my body are perfectly functional and my eyes are damn good.



As for the old wives tale, are you aware that scientists, the government, and just about everyone else lies? All the time? Constantly? Everyday?

If you don't know that, I have......dozens of stories about lying government officials, lying corporations, lying hospitals, lying doctors and lying scientists. Lots of them lie, lots of them are incompetent, and the rest are victims. They are poor people like you who trusted a liar, so now they believe something that is not true.
Right, so I as a chemical engineer, am lying if I say that an Ideal gas's physical properties are affected by the equation PV=nRT? Would I be lying if I said a Tri-ethylene Glycol dehydration process is used to rid natural gas from most of its moisture?

I'm sorry, but no I would not.

Science is backed up by actual evidence. Evidence that YOU have lacked in bringing forth.
An example of evidence would be Kinsey's findings that 92% of men and 58% of women admit to having masturbated. Now following your theory, 92% of the male population should be blind. Now using your common sense argument, I can tell you that you're wrong. The following is the bibliographical information for my claims:

-Kinsey, A.C., Pomeroy, W.B., & Martin, C.E. (1948). Sexual behavior in the human male. Philadelphia: Saunders.

-Kinsey, A.C., Pomeroy, W.B., & Martin, C.E. (1953). Sexual behavior in the human female. Philadelphia: Saunders.



You really shouldn't trust anything besides your own two eyes, and your own brain. That is the only way to be certain of anything.
I AM trusting my own eyes and my own brain. All of them are telling me that you have failed to convince me and anyone else on this site that any of your claims hold any validity.

I haven't read his page, but maybe what he's really saying is, "Watch your aim." I mean, I've never really had to worry about my OWN eyes, but I have on occasion feared that I might have caused blindness from such activities.

So Happeh, I'm willing to accept that putting a book in my buttcrack will indeed have a slightly different effect from doing a squat. I am also grateful that you spelled out for all of us that we probably shouldn't attempt this with our favorite book. Especially for me since the Complete Far Side would take a bigger buttcrack than I would care to possess. Still, I am forced to ask: most resistance exercises enable me to hit people, throw people, lift or carry objects or manipulate tools or my own bodyweight in some way. What exactly will the book in the buttcrack exercise enable me to DO other than carry books without a backpack? Is it a rape defense maybe?

Finally, don't ever leave, Happeh. I think you could exclusively provide me with entertainment for years to come. Post hourly at least.