View Full Version : Mega Throwdown 2006 - Gold Standard

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1/25/2006 11:52am,
Hail and hearty welcome, ye wayward vagabond, to thee…


INTRODUCTION: The world of the Bullshido Throwdowne is also the world of the Knights of the Round Table. This is a brotherhood based upon chivalry—the moral code of the rear mounted warrior class. Deeds of arms and legs are not just allowed, they are encouraged! How else is a young fighter to prove his worth but through valorous actions? How else are all three ranges (standing up, trapping and ground grappling w/ or w/o weapons) of fighting to be practiced but through vigorous defense?

Seriously though folks, laymen to The Martial Arts often ask me why anyone would want to go and get "beat up" and I just smile and shake my head knowingly and explain that Throwdowns are fun, active, healthy, exercises your imagination, usually gets you in the grappling range at some point, and lets you meet new and interesting e-people. BullshidoRPers come in all ages, sizes, and genders. Some are only interested in the role-playing aspects of the Throwdown, some like the combat, some like to plan the events in which others participate, and some people simply enjoy getting outside.

THE BASICS IMMERSION - Act like you are a character from the Courts of King Arthur.
ENTHUSIASM - Create some fun, be courteous and encourage others.
ALIVENESS - Consists of timing, energy and motion.Reminders on Ways to Ensure Enthusiasm Don’t just “have” fun—create some fun!
Put your heart into it.
Praise everyone’s efforts—feelings are SERIOUS BUSINESS.
Be courteous—allow others their turn; even let them go first!
Show up to Rep as to just how much of a QUEER … er … Badass Mofo you really are.
Play by the spirit of the rules rather than the letter.
Help others succeed, and feel free to ask for others’ help.
Remember it’s just sparring.
Keep an eye on your goals.
Enjoy the experience like a good little queer boy as you know nothing beyond playing huggy – huggy with other boyz.
Laugh—LOL.Rules No touching without the permission of the other players.
Individual combat must be under control at all times. No swinging like Conan The Barbarian. No head shots, no groin shots, and only gentle thrusting at a 45 degree angle when using latex weapons. Thrusing can be more energetic if the weapon has a thrusting CAP or has a built-in “squishy tip”.
Don’t talk or listen to anyone wearing a spirit world bandana: unless you’re wearing one too, or have a power that says you can talk to spirits. We give you a spirit world bandana if you’re dead or on a spirit quest. Wearing one at any other time (i.e. to avoid combat) is amazingly rude and against the rules.
Time In – Start acting in character, you can assume that anybody around is there in character unless they’re waving their finger in the air and saying “you can’t see me” or “I’m not here”.
Time Out – The encounter is over. Drop out of character for a bit, so as we can do OoC things like battleboarding.A Hero Takes Up His Cause

The impetus for this Bullshido Throne-down ‘06 was the realizations that it is impossible for any heart-to-heart discussion to take place without first having proven myself in combat in the eyes of my fellow man, the King, God and the Internet.

With haste I assembled a ragtag bunch of compatriots and laid out the situation before them: 1) The internet was in fact Serious Business and 2) we were nothing better but mocking blackfaces without having tested our mettle through the striking of arms and grapple of limbs in a “Bullshido-Brand Trolldunn” and 3) presented multimedia of us proving ourselves through kombat or at least flicking off the camera (totally original and always funny).

With resolution we resolved to assemble and prove our worth as Men, knowing fullwell that by mere attendance we were forever guarded against any criticism because WHAT THROWDOWN HAVE YOU BEEN TO YEAH NONE I DIDN’T THINK SO FAG SHUT UP.

With this, we set sail into a day of magic and adventure!

UberThöwdown 2K6 Results/Photos follow…


Aesopian and Boyd demonstrating ALIVENESS with the clash of DEADLY blades!

ALTERNATE CAPTION: Sharp of tongue and shaper of blade, fierce foes face off!

We chose this situation to illustrate the lesson since it is a fairly common self-defense situation to find yourself circling another man with a knife for upwards of 10 minutes while probing and prodding his defense, lunging in and jumping back as you slash wildly, never coming within 5 feet of each other.

(OOC: In order to maintain realism and fairness, Aesopian was given a Dwarf Steel Dagger +1 since Boyd was meta-gaming and put more points into DEX and STR during character creation, greatly affecting his DMG rolls.)


A timeout had to be called when Boyd was ravaged by an errant Rapecase, given life and desire we know not whether by magick or skience. (USB and Firewire ports not shown, Apple Airport optional. Comes with iTunes.)


By the Gods! Beowulf locked in moral combat with Grendel, tearing the vile beast asunder with the Hammerlock of Thor.

(FYI those are their in-character names. You’d know “Beowulf” in RL [on the internet] as Dochter and “Grendel” as “LARPing ninja dork”.)


The Eternal Struggle between the Races of Faerûn rages on! GraveDigger and hedgehogey are to be highly praised for their faithful recreation of this gripping melee between the dark Drow and earthly Wood Elf:


(NOTE: Due to SCA customs, GraveDigger was penalised 2d20 EXP for wearing purple—the color of nobility—without having first gained enough reputation points to have earn the rank of DUKE. hedgehogey received the same penalty for laying flat on his back when playing butterfly guard.)

Here begins the end of the tale—the boss battles!


There Be Dragons Here!!! Deadpan Xyientist cowering as Booker T. Wastrelton (as we like to call him around here, inside joke) carries out the grim deeds called for in his role as Koreth Razonclaw, the Dark Dragon and Lord of the Night (Challenge Rating: 13).

Reports by officials of devouring the flesh and blood of humans are not greatly exaggerated! J/K! Or are we? ... ;)


A crawling horror beyond the comprehension of mortal minds consumes yet another pawn of mankind. Looks like Deadpan Scientist failed this Grapple Check! Playful ribbing such as this is common and expected between battle-hardened men-at-arms such as us.


Glass and lava jokes were taken to a whole new level by our star guest, LAVATORR, whose “fiery” personality “slayed” the crowd ha ha ha! Deadpan Brandeist learns the hard way that there is more to fighting than just turning around and hoping for the best! But as they say “Hope Springs Eternal”.

Our Journey Nears Its End…

Just as every Epic Poem must reach a finale and draw to a close, so to must our Thralldown.

At the conclusion of the Renshido Fairdown, LAVATORR was so moved by the show of heart or determination he witnessed, especially by Deadpan Xyientist, who he called a “walking symbol of indomitable spirit”, that he erupted before those congregated and spoke these words:


And a dove wept.

Then burst into flames.

While our corporal bodies may be battered, bloodied and bruised from the raining of blows and torsion of flesh, I hope that the message our astral bodies sends you through this plane of mist and fog we call the World Wid Web is one of Closure. You have now seen the fruits of our labors, inrefutable proof of that We the Assembled are indeed tuff stuff, a fact you must respect under penalty of DEATH the next time you take offense to our utterances and feel the misguided desire to assail us. All I humbly request in return is a little fist.gif next to my username or I’m fucking leaving the internet forever I mean it this time.

Have a great Kempo day!

1/25/2006 12:00pm,
Fucking laffo.

1/25/2006 12:14pm,
Video pls.

1/25/2006 1:50pm,
Dear Aesopian,

I'm worried that without attending more throwdowns, people don't listen to my experiance. I would like to attend this megathrowdown, but I don't want to be hit, and I don't know how to grapple. Is it okay if I go there, don't spar, but roll around like a confused ****** down a steep hill?


1/25/2006 1:57pm,
The Inquisition has arrived! I have faith that the heretics will comprehend the genius of this post adequately for it to destroy their minds and burn their bodies, or at the very least not sail completely over their heads as they wallow in self-congratualtory squallor.

Lucky Seven
1/25/2006 2:07pm,
Pure Pwnage

1/25/2006 2:34pm,
You have wayyyyyyy to much time on your hands...

1/25/2006 5:12pm,
**** off and die....

He just took the December Maryland Throwdown pics and fucked with. I guess that what you get from someone too piss scared to throwdown.

Looks like I am some sort of Green Orge? or Witch?

1/25/2006 5:19pm,
**** off and die....

He just took the December Maryland Throwdown pics and fucked with. I guess that what you get from someone too piss scared to throwdown.
Inquisitor Aesopian "throws down" every day in the name of Freedom, Democracy and Emperor Helio. You should be thanking him for this opportunity to repent your sins and swear fealty to the Emperor.

Looks like I am some sort of Green Orge? or Witch?
You are a heretic, but there is still hope.

1/25/2006 5:22pm,
i just like how it was started in the "classics and megathreads" section. apparently some members are able to predict which threads will be classic. also, message sent by this thread. it's ok to start threads in this section when the threads are about.. umm... what again?

1/25/2006 5:24pm,
It wasn't started in Classics. It was moved to Classics immediately after I read it.

1/25/2006 5:25pm,
ah i see, appropriate section for it then. my mistake.

1/25/2006 5:33pm,
Does anyone need this explained to them?

1/25/2006 5:41pm,
I think it's hilarious, and it was obviously a maryland throwdown parody.

1/25/2006 5:52pm,
Cool, I didn't know Dreadnought had made it to a throwdown yet.

1/25/2006 6:02pm,
I think it's hilarious, and it was obviously a maryland throwdown parody.

At points disturbingly accurate...:)