I was patted on the back by Chuck Norris once....clinically dead for 5 minutes.

I was patted on the back by Chuck Norris once....clinically dead for 5 minutes.
http://i41.tinypic.com/23h0nz5.gif

where do you guys keep finding those?

Not in a fight, but a mosh pit. Descending directly face first into (essentially) a really solid jumping knee. White flash. Woah that was hard. My nose is running. Are my front teeth loose?

Not in a fight, but a mosh pit. Descending directly face first into (essentially) a really solid jumping knee. White flash. Woah that was hard. My nose is running. Are my front teeth loose?
I once got flung into the edge of the pit and only had enough time to tuck my chin, so my forehead hit a guy right in the face, whipping his head back and sending him back into the crowd. I tried to find the guy to help him up and see if he was okay, but he was nowhere to be found. That's when I learned that I can headbutt without hurting my head.

Got hit in the face by an escrima stick which broke my nose and shifted it over. Had to have the surgeon push it back into place.

Was playing full court bb and some mexicans kept shooting at the hoop when we were down at the other end. I was driving down and this dick had just shot, the ball landed exactly under my foot. I lost my balance, spun around and the back of my head hit the iron pole. It fucking echoed, I swear to god. The funny thing is I was not hurt. Dumb luck.

Another time I was delivering packages in SF on a bike. Rode full speed into the back of a pickup, flew through the air, flipped, and landed on my back. Again, not hurt, but it was spectacular. Everyone was screaming "call an ambulance!"

Not the hardest I have ever been hit but it was the worst bloody nose I ever got and it was pretty funny.

I was teaching the kids class and for fun was showing the kids how to kick up into a handstand. Most were getting it but one of my girls just could not get up there. After several tries I decided to help by grabbing her legs as she kicked up. What I did not know was this was the exact moment that she decided to kick up as hard as she could. Next thing I know a heel is smashing into my nose. Both nostrils are pouring blood, the kids eyes are all as big as saucers and the parents watching this are crying they are laughing so hard. I grin at my student tell her good kick and go plug my nose with toilet paper.

where do you guys keep finding those?
It turned up after a night on the town and when i came back to finish off that bottle of whi
http://i40.tinypic.com/21929hx.jpg

1) Chasing Kyokushinkai sensei around the room, teasing him with alternating side kicks to the face and backhands to the nose. Feeling all loose and strong and then flash of nothingness and found myself looking up through purple stars (that were ringed with shimmering silver light) at the bottom of heavy bag in the corner and realizing that it was swinging back and forth, over my face. I thought, gee, I guess I hit the bag on my way down.

2,3, 4, 5, and so forth weren't so much, though in two I dropped with an audible whine (spinning back fist caught my neck) and next thing I knew Master was holding my neck and saying, just breath, just breath.

Not the hardest I have ever been hit but it was the worst bloody nose I ever got and it was pretty funny.

I was teaching the kids class and for fun was showing the kids how to kick up into a handstand. Most were getting it but one of my girls just could not get up there. After several tries I decided to help by grabbing her legs as she kicked up. What I did not know was this was the exact moment that she decided to kick up as hard as she could. Next thing I know a heel is smashing into my nose. Both nostrils are pouring blood, the kids eyes are all as big as saucers and the parents watching this are crying they are laughing so hard. I grin at my student tell her good kick and go plug my nose with toilet paper.I was telling this twelve year old girl to hit harder. Over and over and etc. Jeeezuz H Christ girlie, fucking hit me!!!!! - I was thinking as I calmly encouraged the little girl to hit harder. So many n00bs, specially girls, have this blockage to hitting and I was trying really hard to get the little gal to HIT! Little girl (from now on called evil bitch, or E.B.) then exploded and unloaded a full-body full-contact sliding back kick, slammed/snapped it into my inner thigh, crushing flesh to the bone with her nasty little heel. I hit the ground shocked, in that blinding white pain thing and rolled around grunting (while resisting yelling FUCKING ASSHOLE **** BITCH PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE SHITHEAD ****, **** YOU) and then climbed back onto my feet. "Uh, that was hard enough, heh, heh." Days late a big purple bruise hit the skin and I limped for a week.

I was telling this twelve year old girl to hit harder. Over and over and etc. Jeeezuz H Christ girlie, fucking hit me!!!!! - I was thinking as I calmly encouraged the little girl to hit harder. So many n00bs, specially girls, have this blockage to hitting and I was trying really hard to get the little gal to HIT! Little girl (from now on called evil bitch, or E.B.) then exploded and unloaded a full-body full-contact sliding back kick, slammed/snapped it into my inner thigh, crushing flesh to the bone with her nasty little heel. I hit the ground shocked, in that blinding white pain thing and rolled around grunting (while resisting yelling FUCKING ASSHOLE **** BITCH PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE SHITHEAD ****, **** YOU) and then climbed back onto my feet. "Uh, that was hard enough, heh, heh." Days late a big purple bruise hit the skin and I limped for a week.

Had that been one of my students I would have been so proud.

It turned up after a night on the town and when i came back to finish off that bottle of whi
http://i40.tinypic.com/21929hx.jpg

I've got an awesome Gary Busey one but I don't know how to post it.

Had that been one of my students I would have been so proud.Well I was happy that she could hit hard. A while later we lost a twelve year old boy because she beat him pretty hard sparring. Shihan was like, guy, this is a martial art, toughen up! But too bad for his little ego. At that age girls are often bigger and stronger than the guys. It does cross my mind that the boy hadn't gotten my clever encouragement and learned to unload.

So there I was in the west bank of Palestine, out at night sparring with this guy who was armed with a walking stick (dont ask) he starts twirling it around like it was "chucks" and I think, oh he don't know how to use it... I step into his pattern as it goes low grabbing it with both hands and swinging it to the side in a failed disarm, he maintains control of it and goes with my motion and throws me over his back, head first into jagged rocks, splitting my head open and cutting my elbow. I am back on my feet in moments but alas the sparring had to be post poned while I went to the nearest red cresent hospital to have my head stitched closed.

Then there was that time this dog pushed me off a cliff or did I jump off in an effort to avoid his jaws, cant remember it happened so fast, that hurt too... then there was that time that car hit me... I have trouble remembering things I think I just realized why lol

Wow seven year bump.
Blade Windu's signature brings back comical memories.

Not in a fight, but a mosh pit. Descending directly face first into (essentially) a really solid jumping knee. White flash. Woah that was hard. My nose is running. Are my front teeth loose?

This reminds me that I was headbanging in a club, and I accidently headbutted someone, but because I was taller than him, my eye socket hit his top of the head, and from the bang, surprise and pain I fell on my ass.

In another club, a girl punched me in the groin because I didn't let her drink from my beer bottle (she was already pretty drunk). I wasn't expecting that! She actually only hit my bladder, and not really my balls, so it really heart for only a couple of minutes.

I got hit by a bokken (a wooden sword) in my ear in the dojo. Couldn't walk straight for a minute or two, and my ear became red.

I also dropped a guy on my foot by accident- and limped for a month.

I tried to make a backwards roll when someone pushed me backwards, and I fell bad on my own feet, bending it down (so the toes are pointing down) and streaching something... Limped for another month.

When I was a kid I was riding my bike, when I pulled the forward and the back wheels breaks at the same time. The bycicle stopped, I went flying in the air and landed on the back of a car that was just parralel parking. The driver was shocked, probably thought that he hit me. Well, I hit him!