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OneWingedAngel
6/09/2004 10:14pm,
What is it about my work that attracts idiots? And this wasn't even a customer, it was a coworker(well, same company, different department).

Anyway, I come back from the copy machine, and my coworker who does bjj(we waste alotta time at work) is talking to this other guy(named John) from some other department. They were talking about different martial arts. John was going on about how Shaolin Kung Fu was the best martial art, period. How could this art be so good? What proof did John have? Well, he used anecdotes. His first was how his 7 year old student beat a 25 year old master(yes, I know). Second, Shaolin was really, really old(6,000 years by his count). Third, a computer program had been built to simulate martial arts(I imagine Tekken style), and Shaolin had come out on top.

Still skeptical, both my coworker and myself spoke up, talking about going to the ground, lack of nhb success, and other logical arguements. That's when he brought out the big guns. You're gonna have to follow this one closely, it requires a bit of twisted thinking.

Why is Shaolin so good? Well, imagine you have to defend a town against a seige. You have several days to do so. How do you do it? With Shaolin! No, but the answer John gave was almost as ridiculous. You would build a 3 sided wall aroun the town. You would also leave out the north wall. Why, you might ask. Because the enemy would approach from the south, and since the earth gently slopes up, they would become tired, and thus easy to defeat. Got that? That was his example of how Shaolin Kung Fu was so much better than every other art.

After staring dumbfounded for a second, he was called back to work, preventing my logic from destroying his arguement. My coworker and I were still unconvinced at Shaolin's effectiveness, assuming we never had to defend a village against an attacking army.

My plan is to track him down tomorrow and invite him either to a sparring match at my school or the Chicago throwdown. Then we'll see how well his Shaolin can defend him from an army of Bullshidoka.

liuzg150181
6/09/2004 10:18pm,
I know Trojan wrestling,it was used during the siege of Troy when the marauding army of Agamemnon and Achilles invaded~~~

Teryan
6/09/2004 10:20pm,
You should buy him a copy of Shogun: Total War. Might work their.

Greese
6/09/2004 10:21pm,
Is that like gay porn?

Mouthfire
6/09/2004 10:24pm,
Hmmm... was that guy on crack or something?

liuzg150181
6/09/2004 10:24pm,
Originally posted by Teryan
You should buy him a copy of Shogun: Total War. Might work their.
Shogun:Total War is passe,should buy medieval total war instead.......better still wait until this coming sept for Rome Total War~~~
This is what a siege should be:
http://www.totalwar.com/community/images/br1.jpg

meowrsx
6/09/2004 10:33pm,
lol...that hurt to hear. better take down the north wall of my house, since all of my enemies are getting tired at the south wall.

liuzg150181
6/09/2004 10:52pm,
Yeah.Total-War-jutsu rulez~~~!!!

Hats
6/09/2004 11:41pm,
whoa..i blacked out..

wtf is he talking about?

thebgbb
6/10/2004 12:01am,
He'll probably feed you some line of crap about how he is a pacifist, and how it is against the ethics that his school teaches to fight.

Definitely invite him to a McThrowdown. If he's willing to show, he can impress everyone with his D34D1Y 5K!11Z.

stoogejitsu
6/10/2004 12:11am,
Just remember not to approach the throwdown or sparring session from the south.

Mr.Miyagi
6/10/2004 2:36am,
Wow, wow. Wow...Im sure when they fight in the ring they will make it on a slope, so the other fighters are tired when they get there.

Darting Fingers
6/10/2004 2:42am,
"Third, a computer program had been built to simulate martial arts(I imagine Tekken style), and Shaolin had come out on top."

Ask him if they got a computer program to simulate sex would the computer blow a load?

stoogejitsu
6/10/2004 3:00am,
on a side note I like the new avatar Darting Fingers it's hilarious.

Te(V)plar
6/10/2004 3:19am,
HHHHHHWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHAAAAATT??!?!??! ?!?!?!!

Te(V)plar
6/10/2004 3:22am,
300 posts. YAY!