View Full Version : I've started training at a McDojo!

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6/01/2004 6:49pm,
I've never had one.

-13, -14...

6/01/2004 6:52pm,
ready or not here you come.

6/01/2004 7:54pm,
the top instructor (Mr. K) will drive me, in his car, to the Center of Records and Enrollment..."

"I only listed my mother as my emergency contact, so Mr. X wanted to double check that my dad was still in the picture."

Wow. What a great guy! It really IS like a family over there, Bunyip. You know, it isn't every sensai that would go out of his way for you like that. Maybe some day you can repay the favor for him... like, if he calls you at 2:00 am needing a favor. :D

Oh, and it was rather nice of him to make sure you bring all of your essentials (your check book) to your indoctrination... er... white belt exam. <sniff> Sort of reminds me of my mother... making sure I didn't leave my packed lunch before heading off to school.

6/01/2004 8:10pm,
I also learned the "defense from kimono grab", which went like this: My opponent (who is presumably Frankenstein) rushes at me, arms extended, to push on my shoulders. As Frankenstein is right handed, there will probably be more force from his right hand, so I use his energy to pivot 90 degrees to my left into a low horse stance. My left hand pins his left hand to my right shoulder as I simultaneously execute an upward block with my right hand, causing a compound fracture in his arm. Next, I drag my arm back down his arm, catching the bones which are now protruding through the skin and ripping them free. This motion also jerks his arm forward, causing his head to snap backwards from the whiplash. I karate chop his throat (we had covered the karate chop earlier this lesson), killing him, because it only takes "3 pounds of force to damage the trachea and 5 pounds of force to permanently close it".

This is the American Kenpo technique, "Lone Kimono".


It actually works pretty well if you forget the bullshit arm break thing.

Darting Fingers
6/01/2004 8:13pm,
I think I would feel slightly uncomfortable driving in some weirdo's car to a place they call the C.O.R.E.. I'd be inclined to think it's more likely to be the Centre Of Rectal Entry, Moons of Jupiter style **** from how bizzare these people sound.

6/01/2004 8:19pm,
Originally posted by brandeissansoo
This is awesome.

Originally posted by supercuto
I've been reading these forums for a few months now and I have to say that, by far, this is the greatest thread ever. The reporting is fantastic. This place sounds like a real cult. Can't wait to read about the final lesson.

ditto, this one is heading to Bullshido Classics and Mega Threads.

6/01/2004 9:07pm,
y'know, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable riding in HIS car to CORE. Admittedly you could probably beat up the entire freaking mcdojo, but still that sounds like a recipe for a bad situation.

6/01/2004 9:20pm,
You ARE gonna go to THE CORE, right? I mean, you're gonna pass the white belt test, go to THE CORE, and then tell them that they are THE BULLSHIT and leave, right?? Please???

6/01/2004 9:21pm,
Can somebody photoshop a poster of that movie THE CORE and make a snappy comment about this? I would, but I suck at photoshop and don't know how to post pictures anyway.


6/01/2004 9:40pm,
my pants are at attention waiting for the next post. this owns my kenpo demo thats for sure.

6/01/2004 10:29pm,

6/01/2004 10:32pm,
nice... mspaint?

Sam Browning
6/01/2004 11:02pm,
Two suggestions for you're final lesson bunyip. 1) have you're ride waiting for you near the core office and 2) bring a cell phone. If they give you any problems about leaving (standing in front of the door and not moving aside) tell them you'll call 911 and if you have to, tell 911 truthfully, that you being held against you're will.

6/01/2004 11:22pm,
He doesn't stand a chance at the C.O.R.E...they'll be on him like cock-a-roaches. Remember! up, down, up, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start!

Did you witness any sparring during your tenure? It'd be fun to apply some of your uber-death-causing techniques in a controlled environment, eh?

6/02/2004 12:30am,
Originally posted by Punisher
This is the American Kenpo technique, "Lone Kimono".


It actually works pretty well if you forget the bullshit arm break thing.

I think I have this thing figured out. East-West school begat West-Wind school. Richard Lee aka Richard Cuvieler (changed his name to sound asian) started the East-West school. Tracys Kenpo website list Richard Lee/Cuvieler as an 8th black or something. So they call it Bok Fu, but it's mostly kenpo, but from these reports, they don't seem to understand what they are trying to teach. Don't go in his car, akward silence will be an understatement as he drives you back from C.O.R.E. without closing you.

6/02/2004 12:36am,
Bunyip, you are my new hero. I would like to nominate Bunyip for the bullshido hall of fame.