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Conde Koma
7/01/2011 8:49pm,
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v639/dboyzero/Transformers_dark_of_the_moon_ver5-1.jpgTransformers: Dark of the Moon
USA, 2011
Genre: Action, Science Fiction
157 minutes
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1399103/

In a conspiracy hidden for decades, the Autobots find a long lost secret from Cybertron buried on the dark side of the Moon.

In what he’s calling his final installment of the franchise, director Michael Bay made sure to pull out all the stops for the latest Transformers adventure. It’s quite possibly the Michael Bay-iest of all the films he’s done, so know what you’re getting yourself into before you sit down. The classic Bay hallmarks are all there; the constant slow-motion and ramp up, the warm and vivid colors of sunset, the constant shaking camera of a man on too much caffeine, and all the usual suspects. He uses them because they give people what they’re looking for, and he’s become very adept and fitting them everywhere he possibly can. As far as authorial vision goes, this is likely the exact film that Bay wanted to make. It’s a complete sensory spectacle, between the stunning blend of CGI mechanical combat and practical effects, the thundering score of Steve Jablonsky, and the absolutely visceral sound design of every crack, snap, and crunch. There were a couple of questionable moments, notably an FPS camera that floated in out of nowhere, but otherwise this is Bay doing what Bay does best.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v639/dboyzero/image8-2.jpg

Of course, along with all the flash come the traditional failings of a Bay film as well. The plot is ridiculously convoluted, even for an action movie. It’s clunky and paced poorly, making the already overcomplicated story even harder to follow. The dialogue is unbelievably insipid, spouting clichés and tired jokes at every turn. The actors do what they can, and thankfully decide to ham it up for the camera as opposed to phoning in yet another monotone performance for the box office bucks. Shia LeBeouf and the rest of the regulars from the last two films return to their respective roles, with the exception of Megan Fox, who’s replaced by Rosie Huntington-Whitely as the lead love interest. There’s nothing new from anyone, and everyone seems content to fill the generic character roles they’ve always had. Leonard Nimoy lends his voice to the aged Sentinel Prime, a role that feel oddly out of place amidst all the other characters. In what seems like a retaliatory measure, the ethnic stereotype robots from the last film have surprisingly been replaced with even more stereotypes, but this time sampling from European caricatures. There’s more than a few eye-rolling moments as new characters are introduced, and at this point I suppose I should stop being amazed every time Michael Bay offends somebody.

Like I mentioned before, this is the Bay film to end all Bay films. All of the action is completely over the top, and I don’t think it should be any other way. Aside from the gorgeous visuals and fantastic sound design I talked about earlier, it’s clear that a great deal of thought went into the choreography of all the fight and chase scenes. Assuming you can get past the shaky camera and slow-motion abuse, the action looks good and complements the complexity of fighting/running/driving robot combat. Like most action directors, Michael Bay is exactly what he is, and has a polarizing effect on most movie goers. If you like the kind of ludicrous action set atop famous buildings and tourist attractions that Bay is known for, you won’t be disappointed by his latest project. Otherwise, it’s just another Bay film and you might as well go watch X-Men again.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v639/dboyzero/image8-1-1.jpg

Blog Link: http://fightfilmfriday.wordpress.com/2011/07/01/fight-film-friday-transformers-dark-of-the-moon/

alex
7/01/2011 11:08pm,
bro if you thought the plot was overly complex and hard to follow make sure you dont watch anything NOT directed by Michael Bay or your head might explode.

i thought it was basically the same movie as transformers 2. in fact, give it 6 months and i probably wouldnt be able to tell the difference. the only thing that saved this movie was a few good cameos and the action. the story was boring and plodding, the robots had almost zero screen time apart from when they were fighting which meant it was difficult to really give a **** about them, or their motives.

Colin
7/01/2011 11:17pm,
bro if you thought the plot was overly complex and hard to follow make sure you dont watch anything NOT directed by Michael Bay or your head might explode.

This made me chuckle - but honestly - I think koma was more coming at it from the "this is too complex a plot for a director like Michael Bay to handle effectively" angle.

For what it's worth, I thought it was an excellent review of a shitty movie. hola!

Conde Koma
7/01/2011 11:55pm,
you're talking about a story where they discover some massive conspiracy hiding the existence of spock-bot, then they go save spock-bot, but then it turns out spock-bot was working with megatron in the past, and decides to honor a deal he made back then here in the present, and then he takes control from megatron and decides to rule the world himself, then megatron's balls drop and he saves optimus only to get his face smashed in by optimus seconds later.

the plot is ridiculously convoluted with too many "twists" and story threads that go absolutely nowhere. this is what i mean by overly complicated. it's not that it's necessarily hard to follow, only hard to keep from stepping into the massive plot holes.

Masaka!
7/02/2011 1:37pm,
i just got back form watching the movie. transformers is, as seanbaby once termed ong bak, "action porn".
robot action porn.
weak plot aside, i liked it. also, i was a little surprised at how ruthless optimus prime was.

elipson
7/04/2011 5:21pm,
every human character was an idiot. it was bullshit. no different than the second movie.

Was anyone else pissed off when they were in the building that was being demolished by the giant sandworm transformer, and yet the building wasn't collapsing 9/11 style????

And why are tranformers driving other machines?? They are transformers, why dont they just turn into other machines????

And wtf was with the love story bullshit??? Aside from the overall rediculousness of it, why would we care about this broad who was brought in for the last movie in the series???

It is Fake
7/04/2011 6:03pm,
That's what I told a friend today. They skim off 40 minutes of dialogue and it would have been a competent popcorn action movie.

I have two big problems among many.

The stupid, "I'm leaving because you want to save the world for you instead of going to this party with me," bullshit.

Oh and the whole "I don't believe your stories of alien robots, but I know exactly who Megatron is and I will give him a pep talk to fight."

Yes, I know she saw him in the "reveal." Yet, to suddenly find him in the middle of the action and mysteriously know about their argument for leadership nowhere near from her was just dumb.

Masaka!
7/05/2011 10:59am,
its a decent action porno IMO. but what's with optimus prime's brutality? predator style slaying, what?

Permalost
7/06/2011 12:26pm,
I didn't see it and don't really plan on it, but the dark-side-of-the-moon-harboring-alien-
secrets has been kinda lame since we've actually photographed it from the other side.

http://www.lpi.usra.edu/lunar/missions/clementine/images/img5_lg.gif

Before that, it was a perfectly good setting for alien conspiracies. Now, its kinda like making a remake of Space:1999, knowing full well what the world was actually like in 1999.

Conde Koma
7/06/2011 1:37pm,
wow, the far side of the moon is actually really boring compared to the other one. glad we got the good side.

Permalost
7/06/2011 2:08pm,
wow, the far side of the moon is actually really boring compared to the other one. glad we got the good side.
The near side has more dark areas (ancient volcanic "seas), but the far side has a whole lot more meteor impacts, for obvious reasons.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b0/MoonTopoLOLA.png

Syphilis
7/22/2011 6:17pm,
Never been so bored during a movie. There was not a single moment of suspense or emotional content. Sad :(