Hey guys, I’m new here and not sure if this is the right place for this story. If not I’ll move it or whatever needs to be done, Thanks.

While searching for a new Dojo, the wife and I came across a place called …MMA Extreme Martial Arts (not going to say the name, I want to punch myself for even thinking about going in this place) Bjj/Judo of San Antonio, so we go in.

A young guy of about 17 (by the way 17 is light years younger then us) comes up and says he’s Master (we’ll call him) Mike he’s a 5th DBB there, Ok.

We tell him what training we have, ranks and what we’re looking for. Master Mike starts laughing? And says “All those MMA/Judo/JJ/BLL schools don’t teach real MA and it’s just a matter of time before they all close for good. BUT his school can train us properly. Furthermore our kids (ages 5 and 9) and us could become BB within 6 months to 1 year.

He grants the whole family a free pass for one week, so the next week we go back to try things out. After 10 minutes of air punching and another 10 minutes of board breaking (for some reason, we don’t know why) its time for sparring.

We put on our will used gear, Master Mike walks over and tells us that when we get series about our MA we will have to get new sparring gear, Oh and we need to have a full face shield also. (Really...?)

I spar with Master Mike; he throws a side kick WILL over my head and about a foot away from me. As he sets his foot back down on the foam mat, I hit him in the face shield with a left jab. “Master Mike” stumbles backwards and falls to the mat (?)

He gets up and explains to me that they do not hit the face or head for that matter and they do not use full contact at all in there sparring class and that I would have a point taken away from me in the tournament. I apologized and explained that I clearly didn’t understand the rules of …MMA sparring it won’t happen again.

We set again; he hits my hip with a very weak roundhouse kick, and backs away. That’s when I noticed this other 1st DBB of about 12 standing there with a note pad and he yells “Point Master Mike”?

We reset yet again and he tries the same side kick over my head again. Since I now know the rule of no punching to the face I tackle him and quickly move to his side. Master Mike starts yelling GET THE **** OFF ME… GET THE **** OFF ME NOW MOTHER FUCKER with kids standing all around watching. So I get up, help him up, and reset.

This tall guy comes out from a office who has more stripes on his belt and patches on his uniform then I can count and asks what’s going on. Master Mike rubbing his side tells him what happen. He tells the wife and I that obviously we’re to stupid to understand the rules and it would take us a long time to get our BB’s, but we’re welcome to come back so we can learn how to do things the right way.

We’re still looking for a new place to train.

You know a light year is a measure of distance, not time?

OP, I do believe you are full of ****.

Next you're going to tell us that you have a ship that can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs

Next you're going to tell us that you have a ship that can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs
You know, I was thinking about that this morning, and while George Lucas surely wrote the line because he didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, it could possibly be made to make sense. Consider that the Millennium Falcon can jump to “light speed” (whether this means literally c or merely an appreciable fraction thereof, I don’t know.) At a large fraction of c, an observer on board the Millennium Falcon might actually perceive the distance of the Kessel Run as shorter than an observer remaining static with reference to the Kessel Run end points (varying predictably, of course, with the familiar sqrt(1-v²/c²)).

Thus, the statement could conceivably mean that the Falcon is so fast that Lorentz contraction reduces the distance of the Kessel Run to less than 12 parsecs as seen by an observer on board.

Note: I am not a physicist by even a jedi leap of the imagination.

xma

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youtube embed: how the **** do they work?

You know, I was thinking about that this morning, and while George Lucas surely wrote the line because he didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, it could possibly be made to make sense. Consider that the Millennium Falcon can jump to “light speed” (whether this means literally c or merely an appreciable fraction thereof, I don’t know.) At a large fraction of c, an observer on board the Millennium Falcon might actually perceive the distance of the Kessel Run as shorter than an observer remaining static with reference to the Kessel Run end points (varying predictably, of course, with the familiar sqrt(1-v²/c²)).

Thus, the statement could conceivably mean that the Falcon is so fast that Lorentz contraction reduces the distance of the Kessel Run to less than 12 parsecs as seen by an observer on board.

Note: I am not a physicist by even a jedi leap of the imagination.

The easy answer is that he just found a route that was shorter than the major one used.

The retcon for that is that Kessel is next to a black hole cluster you have to fly around. The faster your ship is, the tighter you can fly around it without falling in.

The retcon for that is that Kessel is next to a black hole cluster you have to fly around. The faster your ship is, the tighter you can fly around it without falling in.

That's not canon

Didn't we have a post like this before the upgrade?

About the kessel run?

The OP where they make one post that is completely trolling and stupid.

Before the change? Most likely, but there seems to be an abundance of trolls (or just retards) since the forum updated so it could be unrelated.

I was kinda hoping it was true. Get a free pass and **** with/torture these people for a week sounds like fun. Ah well. Just have to stick to real training. Btw that was some major Star Wars nerdage there. Well done.

Excellent thread hijack!

12047

who cares if its real or not,

it was an amusing story and its not like op is trying to sell us or anyone on going to a particular school or taking his "style".