Hey guys,

I know I'm a newbie so if this isn't the correct forum please forgive and move ( so soddy...). Anyway, I've never been much of a fighter, didn't get involved in many in school, never provoked one. Always been more of a thinker/calmer type dude. Anyway, I recently started taking martial arts again (see styles) and I'm enjoying it but noticing that especially during sparring (we do "light" contact with pads at our current rank which is yellow) I'm very open to attack and just don't feel "good" at it yet. I land a few great shots from time to time because I'm intelligent but that's about it.

I don't seem to have the "vision" is the best way I can say it. My instructor is great so far at pointing out tips, teaching me how to defend my face/body, move and look for openings, check, etc but I'm just...I don't know...unconfident I guess.

Now, I'm sure I'm just being a ***** (and I would expect to be called nothing less here) but it seems to me there should eventually come a time when I feel confident going into a sparring match/fight/etc. I'm looking forward to doing more sparring/groundwork/etc. too to help me be more well-rounded.

Will this ever come? Is it just a pure lack of experience that will come with time? Are there other people on here willing to drop the machismo and relate with their own anecdotes?

Am I just a wuss? :suicide:

Thanks for the responses.

We had this discussion at my boxing class recently. Sparring is fun when you are flogging the **** out of the other guy. Not so fun when you are getting beat up and overwelmed.

If you are new and sparring is uncomfortable then with experience you should get better.
If you have been training 5 years and it is still the case then you have an issue

by the way being a ***** is not sparring because it is uncomfortable

I typically don't miss a class of any sort due to fear. Injury would be about the only thing that would keep me from it.

My main motivation for the question was wondering if the ability to be a fighter is something that can be learned. If so, I don't mind being patient.

^^^ The correct. Sparring is shitloads of fun when you are dictating the action, not so much otherwise. Grappling with someone who is superior in skill is somewhat more bearable only because you are not eating punches and kicks like a pothead wolfing Doritos. Keep at it, ultimately it's either something you will learn to enjoy or you will move on to other things. Don't worry about being a "wuss". There are plenty of guys who are beasts in the gym who can't live up to their responsibilties outside. Don't try to not be a wuss in the gym, be a man in life.

Yes it can be learned. If you are not a natural fighter do not try to get creative when you spar just do roboticly exactly what you are told to do.

You may have to start by cutting down the movements that you use. the same strikes the same blocks all the time and get your head around that first. Almost a smaller system of what you are allready doing.

Exactly what sort of sparring are you doing?

Everyone has it in them somewhere. Some people have been brought up differently/bullied/oppressed etc which might mean they find it harder to become aggressive in a sparring/fight situation however, it IS something that can be learned and it IS 100% psychological.

I had a psychological issue once and it caused me to under perform for a long time. Train hard, have confidence in what you're learning and you'll surprise yourself with how quick you develop the aggression.

I know one of the things I had to get over when sparring was this nagging issue where I had an irrational fear of hurting the other guy. Despite sparring in a safe manner. I at times still run into the problem of just letting go and not worry about them(not talking about being out of control but just not holding back when I shouldn't be).

Hey guys,

I know I'm a newbie so if this isn't the correct forum please forgive and move ( so soddy...). Anyway, I've never been much of a fighter, didn't get involved in many in school, never provoked one. Always been more of a thinker/calmer type dude. Anyway, I recently started taking martial arts again (see styles) and I'm enjoying it but noticing that especially during sparring (we do "light" contact with pads at our current rank which is yellow) I'm very open to attack and just don't feel "good" at it yet. I land a few great shots from time to time because I'm intelligent but that's about it.

I don't seem to have the "vision" is the best way I can say it. My instructor is great so far at pointing out tips, teaching me how to defend my face/body, move and look for openings, check, etc but I'm just...I don't know...unconfident I guess.

Now, I'm sure I'm just being a ***** (and I would expect to be called nothing less here) but it seems to me there should eventually come a time when I feel confident going into a sparring match/fight/etc. I'm looking forward to doing more sparring/groundwork/etc. too to help me be more well-rounded.

Will this ever come? Is it just a pure lack of experience that will come with time? Are there other people on here willing to drop the machismo and relate with their own anecdotes?

Am I just a wuss? :suicide:

Thanks for the responses.

Dear Turry,

Why yes, you are a *****. I'm here for you. I tend to **** the ***** many time, because I'm the dick. If you were an asshole, I'd **** you too. But since you're a ***** I will just tell it to you straight.

You need to be given a decent pounding until you are nice and loose. If you start bleeding please take the proper precautions and use a tampon to prevent excess spillage.

When your hymen has been properly ruptured come talk to us and we can talk about lubing you up better.

I may be something of a masochist, but I enjoy sparring even when I'm not winning. It's perception and reaction. Just like lifting weights will make your muscles stronger, sparring will make you better able to detect an incoming attack earlier and lessen the time it takes your body to respond.

How long have you been doing hard sparring? You are probably just inexperienced.

It is hard to say anything meaning full without seeing you in action. You should generally try to have fun. sparring should starts slow and light so you and your partner get some time to get used to the frame of sparring.

You kind of seem unmotivated on a subconscious level. what do you think and feel?

/edit .. I used to really suck at tae kwon do sparring as a kid.. YES!! LOL but then one day somebody came along and beat me up .. and I got auto motivated. It was like some put ants in my pants and put me on fire. 6 months later and I was best at sparring for my weightclass. I even won some shiny medals in a crotty turney. I was unmotivated because I lacked challenges and it made me under perform. It was a krotty tae kwon do class and nobody really tried to hit the other person. How boring and unmotivated is that?? You can't really be happy to be at training when it is like that..

You have to find yourself a proper challenge.

It will come in time. Don't stress. Do your best to follow your instructors directions.

Welcome to Bullshido.

Thanks for the responses so far guys, I'll try to answer the questions:

I am taking shaolin kempo karate and our sparring is "light contact" with half gloves and a similar setup on our feet. Most of the touches are more than light at this juncture though.

I AM inexperienced as I've only been doing this about 2 months now.

Thanks Omega, I guess I'm a ***** duly noted.

Subconsciously un-motivated. Hmm, it's definitely a challenge just something I don't have a "feel" for as it's never been in my nature.

I'm not just getting my butt kicked the whole time, I'm just not confident in it yet I guess. For me, that has been a de-motivator in the past.

I'm not going anywhere and am looking forward to getting better.

I do agree with one thing that scares me a bit...maybe I do just need a good ol' fashioned beat down to cure me of any intimidation I am feeling.

I am taking shaolin kempo karate

You're training in what now?

Is it kenpo or is it karate?

Shaolin Kempo Karate.

Mixed style based in Kung Fu, Jiu-Jitsu and Karate.

Been around a while, has a lot of the "art" aspects that I like and this instructor doesn't leave out the sparring aspect of it. He also incorporates classes involving BJJ style groundwork along with other things a few times a month.

Fred Villari's SKK?